Katie Bernet's "Beth Is Dead"

Katie Bernet is the author of Beth Is Dead, a Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection. She’s an award-winning creative director and a long-standing member of the DFW Writer’s Workshop. As the oldest of three sisters, she’s a diehard fan of Little Women.

Here Bernet dreamcasts an adaptation of Beth Is Dead, her debut novel:

Beth Is Dead is a modern reimagining of Little Women as a mystery-thriller in which Beth March is found murdered in chapter one.

Naturally, I’d melt into a puddle if Greta Gerwig directed the film adaptation. Her adaptation of Little Women reinvigorated my love for Louisa May Alcott’s classic, but I’ve been a Greta stan since the days of Francis Ha and Lady Bird. I’d flip to see her take on a mystery-thriller, and I can hardly imagine the fun of cozying up to her versions of Little Women and Beth Is Dead back to back to back forevermore.

Beth Is Dead is written from the alternating perspectives of all four March sisters—including Beth in flashback, so we’ll start by dream-casting the girls. They’re not redheads in the novel, but I think this redheaded quartet would do a fantastic job of modernizing the characters.

Madalaine Petsch could play Meg who’s a rising sophomore at Harvard. Sadie Sink could play Jo who’s amassed a social media following by posting personal essays and would do anything for a story. Evie Templeton could play Beth who faces an impossible decision between an elite boarding school for artists and her first love. Jessica Barden could play Amy who’s desperate to study art in Europe—even if it means taking money that’s always been earmarked for Beth.

Meg, Jo, and Amy each have motives for killing Beth, but they’re not the only ones with a story to tell. Suspects include modern versions of many beloved characters. Laurie could be played by Niles Fitch. John Brooke could be played by Joe Alwyn. Sallie Gardiner could be played by Maude Apatow. Fred Vaughn who’s reimagined as Amy’s problematic art mentor could be played by Cole Sprouse. And one of the Hummels who’s reimagined as Beth’s first love could be played by Mason Thames.

Oh, and Marmee who’s known simply as “Mom” in Beth Is Dead absolutely must be played by Amy Adams.

Visit Katie Bernet's website.

The Page 69 Test: Beth Is Dead.

--Marshal Zeringue

Farah Naz Rishi's "The Flightless Birds of New Hope"

Farah Naz Rishi is a Pakistani-American Muslim writer and voice actor, but in another life, she’s worked stints as a lawyer, a video game journalist, and an editorial assistant. She received her B.A. in English from Bryn Mawr College, her J.D. from Lewis & Clark Law School, and her love of weaving stories from the Odyssey Writing Workshop. When she’s not writing, she’s probably hanging out with video game characters. Rishi lives in Philadelphia.

Here she dreamcasts an adaptation of her new novel, The Flightless Birds of New Hope:

The Flightless Birds of New Hope follows three estranged siblings who reunite after their parents’ deaths and set out on a cross-country road trip to recover the family’s missing cockatoo. As they chase the bird who once commanded all their parents’ devotion, the trip becomes an unsteady reckoning with old resentments, unfinished grief, and the possibility—however tentative—of finding their way back to one another.

The siblings are shaped as much by what they’ve avoided as by what they’ve endured. Aden, the eldest, is a cynical lawyer who ran away from home and rarely looks back. Aliza, the middle child, stayed, her loyalty slowly turning into a kind of inertia. And Sammy, the youngest, remains gentle and observant, still willing to love everyone at once, even when it hurts.

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When I write, I rarely have actors in mind. Part of that may be because I’m a Pakistani-American writing about Pakistani-American families, and the list of obvious references is short. Still, once the book was finished, I let myself imagine what an adaptation might look like.

For Aden, Haroon Khan feels like a natural fit. He has an ease with humor that doesn’t undercut emotional depth, and that balance matters for a character who often uses wit to keep people at a distance. Aden needs to be difficult without becoming unreadable, and I think Khan could manage that tension.

For Aliza, I’d love to see Iman Vellani. She brings a grounded warmth that would suit Aliza’s caretaking instincts, but she also has the range to convey both her sharpness and spiritual exhaustion. Aliza is someone who has learned to be capable at the expense of herself, and I think Vellani could hold both the protectiveness and the quiet cost of that role.

Sammy is the hardest to cast. Ideally, I’d love to see an open call in Pakistani-American communities to find someone who feels unpolished and real—someone who seems to have wandered onto the set straight from the book. And I like the idea of this story being a starting point for a new actor’s career.

In terms of direction, I’m drawn to filmmakers who understand how grief and humor coexist. Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, who directed Little Miss Sunshine, were a major influence on the book. That said, if Mira Nair, Nida Manzoor, or Riz Ahmed were ever interested, I would simply sob from joy.

At its heart, this is a story about family, memory, and the small moments that shape us long after we’ve moved on. Any film version would need to honor that quietness—and the strange, enduring pull of shared history between siblings.

Visit Farah Naz Rishi's website.

--Marshal Zeringue

Crystal King's "The Happiness Collector"

Crystal King is the author of In The Garden of Monsters, The Chef’s Secret, and Feast of Sorrow, which was long-listed for the Center for Fiction’s First Novel Prize and was a Must Read for the MassBook Awards. She is an author, culinary enthusiast, and marketing expert, and has taught at multiple universities including Harvard Extension and Boston University. She resides in Boston.

Here King dreamcasts an adaptation of her new novel, The Happiness Collector:

I don't cast actors while I'm writing. For me, that comes after, when the manuscript is finished, and I can look back at who my characters became on the page. In The Happiness Collector, my protagonist, Aida Reale, emerges as a historian who loses everything: her book deal, her academic position, and her sense of purpose. When she accepts a too-good-to-be-true job at a mysterious Italian company called MODA, she thinks she's salvaging her career. Instead, she discovers she's been hired by gods using mortals as pawns in their nefarious machinations.

Looking back at Aida now, I'd cast Emma Stone without hesitation.

Stone has that rare ability to play intelligence without making it feel performative. In The Favourite, she navigated court intrigue with a combination of calculation and vulnerability that would serve Aida perfectly. My protagonist isn't a warrior or a chosen one. She's a researcher who solves problems by digging through archives and asking uncomfortable questions. She needs to be smart enough to piece together what's happening, stubborn enough to keep pushing when things turn dangerous, and human enough that we feel her fear when she realizes the people she works for aren't people at all.

Stone also excels at playing women whose relationships are messy and complicated. The romance in this book is woven into Aida's transformation from someone who thinks she knows what she wants to someone forced to reckon with who she actually is. Stone can play that kind of internal conflict without spelling it out in dialogue.

What I appreciate most is Stone's gift for balancing drama with moments of levity. The Happiness Collector has humor woven through the tension. There's absurdity in discovering your boss is a god, in signing an NDA that binds you to divine employers, in trying to have normal conversations about happiness disappearing as part of your job. Stone can find that tonal balance. She proved it in Poor Things, where she played innocence, curiosity, and rage all at once, often within the same scene—exactly the range Aida needs.

As for directors, I'd love to see what Yorgos Lanthimos could do with this story. His work on The Favourite and Poor Things shows he understands how to film power imbalances and make mythic elements feel visceral rather than abstract. He's also unafraid of letting his characters be difficult or make choices that don't neatly resolve. The gods in my book aren't benevolent. They're capricious, selfish, and dangerous. Lanthimos knows how to film that kind of moral ugliness without flinching.

Alternatively, I'd trust Guillermo del Toro to bring the Italian settings to life and capture the growing sense of wrongness as Aida realizes something is deeply off about her employers. He'd probably be the ideal director for my previous novel, In the Garden of Monsters, but I think he could do amazing things with this book too. His The Shape of Water balanced romance and fantasy in a way that would suit this story.

I didn't write Aida with Emma Stone in mind, but looking back at the character now, the fit feels pretty darn good. Stone has spent her career playing women who are smarter than the people around them realize, who solve problems by paying attention rather than making noise. That's exactly who Aida is.

Visit Crystal King's website.

The Page 69 Test: Feast of Sorrow.

Writers Read: Crystal King (March 2019).

The Page 69 Test: The Chef's Secret.

--Marshal Zeringue

Christina Kovac's "Watch Us Fall"

Christina Kovac, author of the Watch Us Fall and The Cutaway, writes psychological suspense/thrillers set in Washington, DC.

Prior to writing fiction, Kovac worked in television news, covering crime and politics at Fox 5’s Ten O’Clock News in Washington, DC, and after that as a news producer and desk editor at the Washington Bureau of NBC News.

She lives outside Washington DC with her family. She loves morning writes with her cat on her lap, book hauls from her town library, and hiking national parks. Her favorites—C&O Canal National Park, Assateague Island, and Rock Creek Park—provided inspiration for Watch Us Fall. She’s currently at work on her third novel.

Here Kovac dreamcasts an adaptation of Watch Us Fall:

Addie James, who is the pivotal love interest/best friend, should be played by Zendaya. I always imagined Zendaya. In fact, when Josh first sees her, he notices Addie’s “big eyes and sharp cheeks, her warm brown skin... the way she moved. Like a dancer, or an athlete. Someone joyful in their body.” And Zendaya moves like that.

Anya Taylor-Joy from Queen’s Gambit would be an interesting choice for Lucy. She’s got a fascinating face. Lots going on behind the eyes. This is important for a character who’s remarkably smart and good with planning and problem-solving skills, hyper-focused, able to notice patterns and track details and connect disparate pieces of information when she begins her obsessive search for the missing Josh. All that requires sharp intelligence that you can read on Anya Taylor-Joy’s lovely face.

I actually imagined Joe Alwyn for Josh when I drafted the novel. He’s a tall blond, as described, and has a kind of vulnerability, a breakability you’ll find in Josh. Alwyn was really terrific in Conversations With Friends—and his character, Nick Conway, has some of that same emotional and psychological upheaval I saw in Josh.

Visit Christina Kovac's website.

My Book, The Movie: The Cutaway.

The Page 69 Test: The Cutaway.

Writers Read: Christina Kovac (March 2017).

--Marshal Zeringue

Elena Taylor's "The Haunting of Emily Grace"

Elena Taylor is the author of the Sheriff Bet Rivers Mysteries, dark and atmospheric police procedurals set in a small, rural mountain town in Washington State. As Elena Hartwell, she writes the Eddie Shoes Mysteries, about a quirky mother/daughter crime fighting duo.

Taylor is also a developmental editor with Allegory Editing, where she works one-on-one with writers to shape and polish their manuscripts. She also writes the Wait, Wait, Don't Query (Yet!) series of books on the writer's craft.

Her favorite place to be is home at Paradise, near Spokane, Washington. She lives with her hubby, their equines, dogs, and cats. Taylor holds degrees from the University of San Diego, the University of Washington, and the University of Georgia.

Here she dreamcasts an adaptation of her new novel, The Haunting of Emily Grace:

The Haunting of Emily Grace would make a great movie. I also think it would be very effective in one of those mini series we see on Netflix and Amazon Prime, with half a dozen episodes to binge all at once. Set in an isolated, unfinished mansion on a tiny island in the middle of a dark sea makes for the perfect imagery. With the rugged coastline of the San Juan Island chain up here in the Pacific Northwest as the backdrop, and the sweet, small town vibe in contrast to the cold, modern house, would give a director a location to love as much as the story and the characters. The directors of Harlan Coben's many streaming series or the series Justified would make excellent choices, as they all make location add to suspense.

Emily Grace should be played by an actress that can feel fragile, but also show a spine of steel when called upon. She has to come across as practical most of the time and have the physical strength to be a carpenter. Lili Taylor from her Mystic Pizza days is the first actress that comes to mind, but Jennifer Lawrence would definitely be able to play all those facets as well. Zendaya would be an interesting choice. She has such beautiful, delicate features, but can be stronger than she looks. Sandra Oh would be amazing as well. I would totally believe her capable of anything, but also able to show vulnerability and fear.

The wealthy but troubled owner of the mansion immediately makes me think of Nathan Fillion. He's an actor that can play serious, funny, and powerful—all at the same time. If he combined his roles from Serenity, Castle, and The Rookie, it would make the perfect Cameron Lang. Idris Elba is another actor that would be perfect for the part. He's handsome, but can also play the sensitive side that comes out as Cameron tries to navigate his challenging adult daughter Chloe.

Chloe might be the funnest role to cast. Manipulative, mercurial, charming. Christina Ricci would be perfect in that part. Sophie Nélisse from Yellowjackets would also be a lot of fun.

Now if only Hollywood would come knocking on my door!

Visit Elena Taylor's website.

Q&A with Elena Taylor.

The Page 69 Test: A Cold, Cold World.

My Book, The Movie: A Cold, Cold World.

Writers Read: Elena Taylor.

--Marshal Zeringue

Cara Black's "Huguette"

Cara Black is the author of twenty-one books in the New York Times bestselling Aimée Leduc series as well as the WWII thrillers Three Hours in Paris and Night Flight to Paris. She has won the Médaille de la Ville de Paris and the Médaille d’Or du Rayonnement Culturel and received multiple nominations for the Anthony and Macavity Awards; her books have been translated into German, Norwegian, Japanese, French, Spanish, Italian, and Hebrew.

Here Black shares some thoughts on who might direct and play the lead in an adaptation of her new novel, Huguette:

As I wrote Huguette I had no specific actress in mind. In thinking about this now, I'd want an actress who has frizzy hair she's constantly trying to tame, as Huguette does. An actress who can completely change her look, as Huguette does and probably all actresses can do with different make up and wardrobe. And an innocent face.

Director wise I'd like Martin Scorsese to direct Huguette. Granted he's more mob centric but he's also done unusual films like Kundun and The Last Temptation of Christ. Music threads through his films and I definitely feel 40's music would evoke Huguette's era like he's used it so effectively in Casino with 70's music. Of course, Marty, if I can call him that, only directs films he's passionate about and if he read Huguette, became impassioned to tell her story I'd love it. There's also lots of bad guys in the book, GI deserters, Paris black market gangs and collaborators in hiding so he could, if any director could, get into that!

Visit Cara Black's website and follow her on Instagram and Threads.

The Page 69 Test: Murder at the Lanterne Rouge.

My Book, the Movie: Murder at the Lanterne Rouge.

The Page 69 Test: Murder below Montparnasse.

The Page 69 Test: Murder in Pigalle.

My Book, The Movie: Murder in Pigalle.

My Book, The Movie: Murder on the Champ de Mars.

The Page 69 Test: Three Hours in Paris.

The Page 69 Test: Night Flight to Paris.

Writers Read: Cara Black (March 2023).

Writers Read: Cara Black (March 2024).

The Page 69 Test: Murder at la Villette.

--Marshal Zeringue

Paula Munier's "The Snow Lies Deep"

Paula Munier is the USA TODAY bestselling author of the Mercy Carr mysteries. A Borrowing of Bones, the first in the series, was nominated for the Mary Higgins Clark Award  and named the Dogwise Book of the Year. Blind Search also won a Dogwise Award. The Hiding Place and The Wedding Plot both appeared on several “Best Of” lists. Home at Night, the fifth book in the series, was inspired by her volunteer work as a Natural Resources Steward of New Hampshire.

Along with her love of nature, Munier credits the hero dogs of Mission K9 Rescue, her own rescue dogs, and a deep affection for New England as her series’ major influences.

A literary agent by day, she’s also written three popular books on writing: Plot Perfect, The Writer’s Guide to Beginnings, and Writing with Quiet Hands, as well as Happier Every Day and the memoir Fixing Freddie: The True Story of a Boy, a Mom, and a Very, Very Bad Beagle.

Here Munier shares some thoughts about the director for an adaptation of her new Mercy Carr mystery, The Snow Lies Deep:

The Snow Lies Deep, the seventh book in my Mercy Carr mystery series from Minotaur, takes place during the countdown to Christmas in the picture-perfect Vermont village of Northshire. Everyone is in the holiday spirit—local artisans and shopkeepers, kids and parents and grandparents, church choral singers and Druid drummers alike. But when the town Santa is found murdered, it’s up to Mercy and her husband Troy and their smart-as-heck working dogs to find the Yuletide Killer before he kills again—and ruins Christmas in Northshire forever.

So we’re talking Love Actually meets Die Hard, in New England. I think it would be great to have famed Barbie director Greta Gerwig write the screenplay and direct because, well, Barbie! Mercy is the anti-Barbie, and it would be fun to see Gerwig tackle that kind of character. We know she can do Christmas (she directed Little Women) and we know she could give all those male action-movie directors a run for their money. Move over, John McTiernan and James Cameron and John Woo, here comes Greta! She’s probably already signed on to do the next Wonder Woman movie (or whatever), but Mercy Carr is a wonder woman, too. I’m just saying.

Think about it, Greta. Seriously. Meanwhile, a girl can dream….

Visit Paula Munier's website.

Coffee with a Canine: Paula Munier & Bear.

My Book, The Movie: A Borrowing of Bones.

The Page 69 Test: A Borrowing of Bones.

Writers Read: Paula Munier (October 2019).

My Book, The Movie: Blind Search.

The Page 69 Test: Blind Search.

My Book, The Movie: The Hiding Place.

The Page 69 Test: The Hiding Place.

Q&A with Paula Munier.

My Book, The Movie: The Wedding Plot.

The Page 69 Test: The Wedding Plot.

Writers Read: Paula Munier (July 2022).

Writers Read: Paula Munier (October 2023).

My Book, The Movie: Home at Night.

The Page 69 Test: Home at Night.

My Book, The Movie: The Night Woods.

The Page 69 Test: The Night Woods.

Writers Read: Paula Munier (October 2024).

--Marshal Zeringue

P.J. Nelson's "All My Bones"

P.J. Nelson is the pseudonym of an award-winning actor, dramatist, professor, and novelist (among other many other professions) who has done just about everything except run a bookstore. He lives in Decatur, Georgia.

Here he dreamcasts an adaptation of his new novel, All My Bones:

In All My Bones, the second of the Old Juniper Bookshop mystery series, we find Madeline Brimley, owner of the bookshop, and Gloria Coleman, an Episcopal priest and one of Madeline’s best friends, trying to plant azaleas in the shop’s front yard. Their efforts are hindered by rock-hard red Georgia clay and, they soon discover, human bones. The bones turn out to belong to Beatrice Glassie, one of two Glassie sisters, the richest women in the tiny town of Enigma, Georgia. It isn’t long before Bea’s sister Idell accuses Gloria of murdering Bea. Apparently, Bea and Gloria were constantly at odds over church business. Not to mention the fact that the Glassie sisters didn’t cotton to the idea of a female priest at all. And since Idell has lots of money, she also wields an unhealthy degree of influence, which she uses to pressure the local GBI to arrest Gloria for Bea’s murder. Madeline knows Gloria is innocent and sets out to prove it. She soon discovers that nearly everyone in Enigma had some sort of grudge against Beatrice Glassie. The plethora of suspects includes a local handyman whom Beatrice owed money and the owner of the town diner whom Bea tried to force out of business. But nearly everyone in town seems happy that Beatrice is dead. Madeline’s investigations even lead her to an allegedly haunted opera house in Hawkinsville, Georgia, and to wealthy Kelly Brady, Bea’s on-again-off-again beau who worked with Bea to restore the old opera house. Too many suspects and not enough time roil Madeline’s efforts to save her friend Gloria before it’s too late.

Thinking about what actors might play some of these characters is loads of fun. For Madeline Brimley, I like Holly Hunter around the age she was after she made Raising Arizona. Her understanding of southern idiomatic speech would be invaluable, and her demeanor of dogged determination seems just right for Madeline. As to Gloria Coleman, who is described in the books as being built more like a stevedore than a priest, I find the idea of casting Ronda Rousey, the mixed martial arts artist and actor, extremely amusing. I heard her say once that she only wanted to play herself in films because that way no one could tell her what she would or wouldn’t say in any given situation. And that’s exactly that the character of Gloria Coleman would think. And what if Sissy Spacek played Idell Glassie? Once again, Spacek’s understanding of “south-speak” would make her perfect for the role. I’m especially thinking of her dead-pan voiceover in Badlands, but also, of course, her understanding of Loretta Lynn in Coal Miner’s Daughter. And wouldn’t it be great if the film could be directed by the Coen Brothers? I love their sense of humor, the subtlety of their irony, and, again, their understanding of Southern culture in general. Finally, let’s get in touch with Randy Newman to score the film, and see if Rhiannon Giddens could be convinced to write a couple of songs—or ten.

Read more about All My Bones at the publisher's website.

--Marshal Zeringue

Brionni Nwosu's "The Wondrous Life and Loves of Nella Carter"

Brionni Nwosu is a writer, educator, and joyful creative based in the vibrant city of Nashville, where she lives with her husband and their three children. After more than a decade teaching students and mentoring teachers, she shifted her storytelling craft from a side passion to center stage. A 2021 We Need Diverse Books mentee under Rajani LaRocca, Nwosu writes bold, heartfelt fiction that explores connection, purpose, and what it means to live a life well.

Here she dreamcasts an adaptation of her debut novel, The Wondrous Lives and Loves of Nella Carter:

If The Wondrous Life and Loves of Nella Carter were ever adapted for the screen, I would love to see Laura Harrier play Nella. When I was drafting the book, I came across an image of her that immediately clicked for me — something about her poise, the directness of her gaze, and the period nature of her clothes that just felt like Nella. I kept that image nearby as I wrote, especially during the scenes where Nella steps into new eras and new identities.

The novel follows Nella, a woman who should have died young but instead gains immortality after making a bargain with Death, if she can continue to believe that life is worth saving. She moves through cities and centuries — from New Orleans to London to Paris — collecting evidence and writing stories to prove it, with Death testing her throughout time. Along the way, she finds love, community, and moments of wonder that she never imagined she would get to experience. Because the story spans so many eras and emotional tones, I think it would need a lead actress who can play both the grounded, everyday moments and the sweeping, epic ones. Harrier strikes that balance beautifully.

One thing I love about the idea of adapting this story is that Nella has several different loves over the course of her very long life, each in a different era and cultural context. It isn’t a single-love-story arc — it’s an entire rainbow. Because of that, the film or series would offer a great opportunity for multiple actors to shine. There’s her first love, who appears early in the book, but as she moves through time, we see relationships that reflect different backgrounds, identities, and emotional tones. Each love teaches her something new about herself and the world she’s walking through. I think that range would not only enrich the adaptation, but also create space for emerging actors — or established ones looking for something fresh — to step into these roles and really make them their own.

As far as directors, Ava DuVernay is at the top of my list. She brings such care and intention to stories about Black history, identity, and possibility. I can imagine her capturing the visual beauty of the book — the candlelit soirées, the Parisian streets, the quiet moments between characters — while also holding the emotional weight of Nella’s journey. I could also see the story finding a home as a Shondaland project. Shonda Rhimes has a way of creating character-driven dramas that feel both intimate and big, and the success of Bridgerton shows how well her team handles sweeping period pieces with modern flair, bringing them to a wider audience.

In my mind, the best adaptation would be one that blends romance, history, fantasy, and emotional depth — something lush and human and full of feeling. Whoever ends up involved (in my imaginary version of this!), I hope they’d honor what the book is really about and bring Nella and all her loves to the rest of the world.

Visit Brionni Nwosu's website.

Writers Read: Brionni Nwosu.

The Page 69 Test: The Wondrous Life and Loves of Nella Carter.

--Marshal Zeringue

Cindy Jiban's "The Probable Son"

Cindy Jiban lives in Minnesota, where she was awarded a 2023 emerging fiction writer fellowship through the Loft Literary Center. Jiban holds a Ph.D. in educational psychology; before writing novels, she was an educator and researcher who published frequently, particularly focusing on how students learn to read.

Like the main character in her debut novel The Probable Son, Jiban has taught in middle schools and is raising two sons. She was born and raised in the Seattle area but has now lived with her family in St. Paul for over twenty years.

Here Jiban dreamcasts an adaptation of The Probable Son:

Teacher Elsa Vargas has always suspected that the boy she is raising is the wrong child, accidentally switched at birth. But because of her deep love for Bird, Elsa has planned to keep her doubts buried forever.

Then one day, a student named Thomas in her middle school classroom is uncannily familiar. When she learns that he shares a birthday with Bird, she realizes: Thomas is probably her son.

If she’s right, what will that mean for Bird?

Here’s my dream cast for The Probable Son:

Elsa, the mother

Casting Elsa well is critical. She is a warm and inherently funny mother and teacher who has to navigate the possibility of terrible loss. Still, her sometimes-clumsy search for the truth becomes a bit cringeworthy, at turns. Her yearning drives her forward, but her penchant for rattling the school parent community fills her path with obstacles.

I need an actress who can portray a layered Elsa: hilarious eyerolls but also escaped tears; clever planning but also moments of love-fueled but unhinged judgment.

 To give us a complex and lovable Elsa we can’t look away from, I trust Emily Blunt.

Bird and Thomas, the possibly-switched sons

The son Elsa has been mothering, Bird, is a quiet and serious optimist within a family of extroverted skeptics. Meanwhile, Thomas is a charismatic questioner of the world, someone much more like the rest of Elsa’s family. Both are eighth graders who turn fourteen years old in front of us, a fleeting and awkward in-between time where boys grow wide shoulders to go with their still-soft faces.

Casting a young fourteen-year-old requires magic, perhaps freezing time. Instead, I’ll point to magic moments from the past.

 As sweet and endangered Bird, I cast River Phoenix in the year of Stand by Me.

 As magnetic and eager Thomas, I cast a young Tom Holland, perhaps one year before his Peter Parker was first bitten by that spider.

More roles

If money is no object, then let’s pack this cast.

 As Elsa’s lovable and effortfully resilient husband: Jake Gyllenhaal.

 As the hot, single-mom president of the PTA, exasperated by Elsa: Reese Witherspoon.

 As the quiet mother raising Thomas instead of Bird: a mousey Carey Mulligan.

 As the perceptive teacher friend, one classroom over: Quinta Brunson.

 As Elsa’s snarkily over-honest sister: Anna Kendrick.

 And as the best friend, whose best might not be good enough: Ali Wong.

Meanwhile…

The film is… held up, currently. But the book comes out December 2nd . Given these facts, it seems fair to say: The book is better.

Visit Cindy Jiban's website.

--Marshal Zeringue