Her new book is Romance Is My Day Job: A Memoir of Finding Love at Last.
Here Bloom dreamcasts an adaptation of the memoir:
Writing my memoir only amplified opportunities for full-on narcissism so, of course, I’ve cast the movie version of Romance Is My Day Job. Sacha Baron Cohen would nail the role of my future husband, Sam. They perform similar acrobatic stunts and both attract/repel with an insane sense of humor. If Sacha turned down the part, Sam adores Paul Rudd almost as much as me and would bestow upon him many man-love noogies.Learn more about the book and author at Patience Bloom's website.
For my brother, I would cast a thoughtful, fair-haired actor with gigantic blue eyes. The first one that came to mind was Michael Fassbender since he’s brilliant. As for Mom, that’s an easy one. Whenever I see Susan Lucci on screen, I think, Mama. I’ve watched All My Children since 1978 just because Erica Kane reminded me so much of her. But I could easily cast Sigourney Weaver since this actress exudes intelligence, warmth and pure steel. If you asked her, my mom would want Demi Moore to play her, and why not? We’ve told my stepfather that we’d cast Tommy Lee Jones in his part, but John Goodman is our choice.
The hardest person to cast would be myself. In my dreams, I’d put Julia Roberts in the role because we’re the same age, she’s like the sun and she’d need to consult with me for research purposes (and then we’d become best friends). In truth, my entourage has suggested Jessica Chastain, Amy Adams and Cate Blanchett—actresses that can easily play a bookish girl with a wicked streak. I would be lucky to have them play me and am open to being best friends with them, as well.
The Page 99 Test: Romance Is My Day Job.
Writers Read: Patience Bloom.