Sara A. Mueller's "The Bone Orchard"

A seamstress and horsewoman, Sara A. Mueller writes speculative fiction in the green and rainy Pacific Northwest, where she lives with her family, numerous recipe books, and a forest of fountain pens.

In a nomadic youth, she trod the earth of every state but Alaska and lived in six of them.

She’s an amateur historical costumer, gamer, and cook.

Here Mueller dreamcasts an adaptation of her new novel, The Bone Orchard:

I never cast the characters of The Bone Orchard as I was writing it, which was a departure for me, so this exercise turned out to be really, really difficult!

As Charm, I would love Florence Pugh. She's not tall, does dark subjects well, and has the chops to carry the five other roles she'd be playing - Pain, Pride, Shame, and Desire at minimum. For Justice they might need to get someone to play a child. Another actress for Charm might be Holliday Granger, who does impish, charming, and troublemaking with just delightful balance.

Jennifer Lawrence would be a good choice for Hyacinth Barker, though it would be a real shame to put her in a supporting role (if she were shorter, I'd happily see her as Charm, because wow has she got chops!).

Toby Stevens has the right intensity to play the Emperor, though it would be a shame he had only one scene!

Tom Hardy would play an excellent Phelan. I'd hate to see him play that character, but he'd be absolutely terrifying at it.

Kobi Smit-McPhee would do a great job as Strephon. I'm sure he'd be terrifying.

Mia Wasikowska would be so good as the Empress Ylsbeth. She does fragility well, but she's also played intelligence beautifully!

Countess Seabrough, though she doesn't have much screentime, is such a plum of a role for any actress who takes delight in playing cuttingly upper crust scorn. I don't have any particular idea for her, but I'd have loved seeing Maggie Smith in her middle career do this character's sneer!

For directing, I'd love Lilly and Lana Wachoski. They handle womens' roles well, and they do body horror, mind control, and rebellions well. Or, because of course, Guillermo del Toro. He'd do a marvelous job of balancing all the characters, and when he does creepy, it's so brilliant.

For the all important costume design, Kate Hawley would, I think, do a terrific job of digging into gothic, Victorian costuming. She certainly did so in Crimson Peak, even if there are more bustles in The Bone Orchard!

Visit Sara A. Mueller's website.

The Page 69 Test: The Bone Orchard.

Q&A with Sara A. Mueller.

--Marshal Zeringue