Christina Lynch's "Pony Confidential"

Christina Lynch is at the beck and call of two dogs, three horses, and a hilarious pony who carts her up and down mountains while demanding (and receiving) many carrots. Besides Pony Confidential, her new novel, she is also the author of two historical novels set in Italy and the coauthor of two comic thrillers set in Prague and Vienna. Lynch teaches at College of the Sequoias and lives in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada.

Here Lynch dreamcasts an adaptation of Pony Confidential:

Pony Confidential was actually born as a movie idea and only later morphed into a novel, so it’s a natural fit for this blog. Although it’s billed as a comic mystery, I'm not afraid to admit it's operatic in its internal and external conflicts (opera directors, take note!). The story of a pony who is trying to find the little girl who ruined his life by selling him twenty-five years earlier, it’s also the story of that little girl, now grown up and accused of a murder she didn’t commit. The novel is full of small satiric observations about human and animal behavior but it's also epic in scope: the pony crisscrosses America in various modes of transport many times, and faces all kinds of challenges including how to traverse a lake on a paddleboard.

I’m a little torn about animation vs. live action, but I think we’ve got the technology now to make a round and very furry little pony—and all his many feelings-- come alive in either format. If it’s live action, it would be incredibly funny to see a pony and a goat running through the streets of Los Angeles, and rat having therapy sessions with a racehorse in a trailer rolling across America. The birthday party scenes where the pony commits gentle violence on unsuspecting children would also be funnier in live action. I would love to have Bobcat Goldthwait, with whom I worked for many years on a sitcom, do the voice of the pony in his normal voice. He would be great at playing the many moods of the pony, from pissed-off critiques of humans to epiphanies about love. Bill Murray would also be perfect. Kristen Bell would be a great Penny because not only is she the right height (neither Penny nor Pony are tall), but she can play strength and vulnerability, comedy and drama. I love her range and her smarts.

Because the story is modeled after the epic The Odyssey, it would also be beautiful as an animated film. The tiny pony’s journey across vast landscapes, the horrors of a kill pen, and getting caught in a hurricane would make for breathtaking and heartstopping scenes in the hands of the right artist. I am fortunate enough from my days in Hollywood to know animation artists and directors, and I would love to work with old friends like Lauren MacMullan, a Simpsons director who was nominated for an Oscar for her short film “Get a Horse!” or Disney legend Paul Felix. Or someone I don’t know but whose work I deeply admire like Charlie Mackesy, whose film of his book The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse had me weeping in the aisles.

Plus, I would like to attend the premiere with my own small pony, who has his tuxedo pressed and ready!

Visit Christina Lynch's website.

My Book, The Movie: The Italian Party.

The Page 69 Test: The Italian Party.

Writers Read: Christina Lynch (April 2018).

My Book, The Movie: Sally Brady's Italian Adventure.

Writers Read: Christina Lynch (June 2023).

The Page 69 Test: Sally Brady's Italian Adventure.

The Page 69 Test: Pony Confidential.

Q&A with Christina Lynch.

--Marshal Zeringue