Theresa Weir's "The Orchard"

Theresa Weir is a USA Today bestselling author of nineteen novels that have spanned the genres of suspense, mystery, thriller, romantic suspense, and paranormal; her work has been translated into twenty languages. Her debut title was the cult phenomenon, Amazon Lily, initially published by Pocket Books and later reissued by Bantam. Writing as Theresa Weir, she won a RITA for romantic suspense (Cool Shade) and the Daphne du Maurier Award  (for Bad Karma). She has also published as Anne Frasier. Her thriller and suspense titles have hit the USA Today list (Hush, Sleep Tight, Play Dead) and have been featured in Mystery Guild, Literary Guild, and Book of the Month Club. Hush was both a RITA and Daphne du Maurier finalist. Weir spent twenty years living on a working apple farm, and now divides her time between St. Paul, Minnesota, and a century-old Gothic church in rural Wisconsin.

Here she proposes multiple options for cast and director of an adaptation of her new memoir, The Orchard:

“Who’s going to play you in the movie?”

I’ve been hearing this a lot lately. Not that any movie is planned, but we can always hope and have fun putting together lists of actors and directors. The Orchard covers the years I lived on an apple farm, so the film would require a younger version of myself.

Some suggestions friends have made:

Me: Jennifer Garner and a young Mia Farrow

Uncle: Sam Shepard and Sam Elliott

Mother-in-law: A strong consensus for Meryl Streep

Here are a few of my own lists:

Dead actors and directors:

Uncle: Humphrey Bogart

Mother-in-law: Joan Crawford or Barbara Stanwyck

Me: Audrey Hepburn

Adrian: James Dean

Director: Robert Altman

(A mix of times periods here, but humor me.)

Living actors and directors:

Uncle: Philip Seymour Hoffman

Mother-in-law: Meryl Streep

Me: Hilary Swank

Adrian: James Franco

Director: David Lynch or Paul Thomas Anderson

Fun aside, this list actually looks promising, although James Franco has had too much exposure lately, so another actor would probably be better. I actually like the idea of a cast nobody has ever heard of.

Comedians or comedic actors:

Uncle: Louis C.K.

Mother-in-law: Rosanne Barr

Me: Sarah Silverman

Adrian: Paul Rudd

(The Orchard is definitely not a comedy, but casting comedians would be interesting.)

Learn more about the book and author at Theresa Weir's website.

--Marshal Zeringue