J.P. Lacrampe's "Valet"

J.P. Lacrampe received his MFA in creative writing from Saint Mary’s College. His short fiction has been published by Glimmer Train, McSweeney's, Instant City, and in Howl: A Collection of the Best Contemporary Dog Wit. He is a professor at Santa Clara University & SJSU, where he teaches courses in composition, fiction, and screenwriting.

Here Lacrampe dreamcasts an adaptation of new novel, Valet:

Charles Grodin! To me, he was the funniest actor ever. He could weather the absurdity of the world (and even participate within it) in such a good-natured, witty, and ultimately insightful way. I would love him to play Cy, the android who narrates Valet, who must likewise good-naturedly weather the absurdities of the humans who surround him. Peter Sellers or Keegan Michael-Key would be awesome choices as well. Both are so great at telegraphing what they're really thinking about the crazy world around them. Much of the comedy in Valet comes from the gap between what Cy says and what he actually thinks.

In terms of Grayson, Cy's wayward human charge, someone like Owen Wilson or Chris Pratt. Childlike wonder that can give way to emotional growth. For Mrs. St. Claire, I always envisioned Jessica Walter (Lucille Bluth on Arrested Development). So unbelievably sharp and funny. Maybe Anya Taylor-Joy for Livi and Cate Blanchett for Charlotte. Ana de Armas as Elsa, formidable and competitive.

We'd get Terry Gilliam to direct, of course. I'm ready to start crowd-funding!

Visit J.P. Lacrampe's website.

The Page 69 Test: Valet.

Q&A with J.P. Lacrampe.

--Marshal Zeringue