Barry Lyga's "Blood of My Blood"

Barry Lyga has written — and published! — 14 books in 9 years, as well as three others that aren’t published yet. He would like to take a nap.

Here he dreamcasts an adaptation of his I Hunt Killers series:

My series I Hunt Killers (the final book of which, Blood of My Blood, just came out and why are you wasting time reading this blog — go buy it!) probably won’t be a movie…but it might be a TV show. The fine folks at WBTV snapped it up a few years ago, so there’s a chance my characters might be coming to a small screen near you.

Since word broke of WB’s interest, I’ve been asked repeatedly: Who do you see playing Jazz? And Connie? And Howie? And G. William? And the guy at the coffee shop eating a cruller?

The sad, sad answer is this: Beats me.

I guess I missed the day in Author School when they taught us how to answer these questions because I don’t have the slightest idea who should play anyone in my series. Honestly.

Well, not honestly. There’s one exception.

Billy Dent.

For those of you who haven’t read the series, Billy is the ur-evil, the antagonist from hell. He’s one of the world’s most notorious serial killers, having murdered 123 people in horrible fashion. He’s sort of like a mash-up of Lex Luthor and Ted Bundy — utterly brilliant, completely sociopathic, and charming in that aw-shucks, hey-darlin’ redneck way.

He’s evil incarnate and so he should totally be played by…Brian Van Holt.

That’s right — the good ol’ boy Bobby Cobb from Cougar Town. Kindly and more than a little bit dim. Friendly, lopsided grin, and so on. Guileless eyes.

And I don’t say this because I think Van Holt has the range to switch things up and play Billy cold-blooded. Oh, hell, no! I want him to play Billy exactly like Bobby Cobb, right down to the lazy smile and corn-pone accent.

Because serial killers aren’t like on TV and in the movies. They don’t stride the world wrapped in a fog of menace and threat. In real life, they seem just like us. They blend in. Think about it: Whenever the news breaks in to tell you police have caught some guy who had fourteen girls buried in his basement, what do the neighbors always say?

“I never suspected.” “He was such a nice guy.” “He seemed so normal.”

Bingo. Just like Bobby Cobb.

So, Hollywood can cast whoever it wants in the other roles, but for Billy Dent, please give me everyone’s favorite dimwit, the nicest guy on the block, the last guy in the world you’d ever suspect of murdering 123 people.

‘Cause that’s the one who’ll get getcha in the end.

Visit Barry Lyga's website.

The Page 69 Test: Blood of My Blood.

--Marshal Zeringue